How to Stay Safe (and Sane) While Online Dating

I have a previous, published article here that describes my past experiences with online dating sites, titled, “Online Dating, Yay or Nay?” (I’m mentioning that so as not to bore-to-death those who may have already read about my personal online dating experiences.) While online dating, I made some really foolish mistakes. Had I been with a “bad person” at the time, I might not be here to write this column. Since I AM here, I want to try to save some of you from making the same mistakes I did.

The GOOD news is that you really CAN stay SAFE and SANE while doing the online dating scene. Here’s how:

+ Understand that if you join an online dating site that is for all ages, you may very well (like I did) be asked obnoxious questions like (when I stated my dating age limit as being only men 50+) “Well, how old do I have to BE?”

+ You may find yourself asking nonsensical-sounding questions like, “What part of ‘No’ don’t you understand?”

+ You will always want to drive your OWN automobile to the first two or three dates! (Long enough to have had time to very thoroughly size the person up!)

+ Always meet a new online date ONLY in a busy, and very public establishment or area. (I always chose a public restaurant where it would be easy to get the attention of others if I ever needed to.)

+ If you ever find yourself feeling a knot in the pit of your stomach and suspicious of the person from whom you’re sitting across WITH THE TABLE ALWAYS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, you will always be able to excuse yourself politely to the Ladies Room, and split out the door quickly, making a fast get-a-way in your automobile! (Yes, not polite, but better to be IMPOLITE than found lying in a ditch somewhere, DEAD! i.e. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT!!)

+ It’s never a bad idea to get the person’s license plate number, then call it in to find out whether or not he has a criminal background. (But, if you do this, know that the average inmate has committed at least 50 crimes BEFORE he or she was ever apprehended! i.e. There are no guarantees!)

+ Expect to pay for whatever food and beverage you order – that eliminates the other person getting the idea that you owe him/her something. (Yes, they’d be dead wrong, but people without a conscience do think that way.)

+ If you’re feeling alarm bells “going off” in your gut but you can’t understand why, know that sociopaths are some of the most charming people on earth (until they get what they want from you!) Again, ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT!

+ NEVER go to an online date without telling a family member or a friend, EXACTLY when and where you are going and when you will return home – and that you WILL CALL THAT PERSON THE MINUTE YOU GET HOME!

+ NEVER give the other person your phone number until after the first two or three dates, and your stomach feels completely relaxed inside whenever you’re about to meet the person. Ask for THE OTHER PERSON’S phone number and tell the person that you’ll call THEM. Also tell your prospective date you promised your family you would do it this way – anyone who is any kind of trustworthy person, will SUPPORT you in doing it this way (ESPECIALLY if he/she has either a daughter or sister of their own!)

+ When you ask for the person’s phone number, remember (if dealing with a man) that men love to be the pursuer, so you’re not likely to lose the guy’s interest! If you DO lose his interest for asking, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!)

+ ALWAYS get there plenty early (so the other person won’t know your car – just incase) and always park as near to the front door of the public establishment or area as possible.

+ Keep your cell phone in your pocket, not in your purse (just incase you would need to quickly call 911).

As I wrote in my previous article (mentioned above) I MARRIED one of MY online dates after dating him for two+ years, and have never been happier.

Nevertheless, a girl/person cannot be TOO CAREFUL! But special care in all of the above areas makes online dating much more safe and fun!

Copyright 2012 – 2014 by JC Fredlund (JC Eberhart, Past Pen Name): ©JC Fredlund and JC Fredlund’s Artistry Blog, 1974 – 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to JC Fredlund and blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.



My husband just shared with me that today four firemen were ambushed and shot as they answered a fire alarm call in Webster, New York (in the USA Today article). The man who fired shots at them from the arsenal he’d created, wounded two innocent firemen and killed two more of them before turning the firearm he’d wielded against them, on himself.

The shooter had been a convicted killer (he’d murdered his grandmother with a hammer). Mr. Spengler now is also responsible (post-humously) for four the fire destruction of at least four homes (while the owners stood-by watching helplessly).

I tried to imagine having been one of the neighbors of Mr. William Spengler (the shooter) and having had to witness these killings, then nearly lose my house to the fire he’d set. Granted, as far as my husband and I know, there were no lives lost among the neighbors, but I find myself hard-pressed to imagine the trauma they have suffered.

Obviously, Mr. Spengler could not have legally owned any firearms of any kind. Obviously, he possessed firearms inspite of the laws that “prevent criminals from owning firearms”. Where in the world is the logic in concluding that gun control would have prevented these senseless killings today?

This question brings me to the recent school shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and to the statement made by the head of the NRA. Had there been “a good guy with a gun” monitoring entry to Sandy Hook that day, it is highly likely that twenty-six innocent people whose lives were lost, would walk among us today.

I find myself wondering over and over again, what it is going to take for the public who oppose armed protection of the schools that house our babies, to wake-up and realize that everyone needs to do EVERYTHING humanly possible to protect those little lives! Now, perhaps there will be another hot debate over whether or not Fire Departments answering calls around the country are needing armed protection as well. Are we going to DENY them that protection and watch our OWN homes burn to the ground if a fire starts?

As for the schools, will it take some of the people who oppose protection at all costs losing their OWN children to criminals and/or mentally deranged shooters for them to recognize the necessity of armed protection? I certainly hope not because more than enough lives have been lost already!

It is absolutely essential that people who oppose this protection realize that we are not living in the same world we lived in twenty and thirty years ago. Our world has become a world that often contains dangerous, and violent individuals who, if not stopped-dead-in-their-tracks, will continue to maim and murder innocent, unsuspecting people.

Whether or not we want to believe it, there really is only one way to stop a bad guy with a gun and that IS to have ready, a good guy with a gun! Yes! It’s time to pull our heads out of the sand and recognize that that IS what our world has come to!

Copyright 12/24/2012 by JC Fredlund (JC Eberhart, Past Pen Name): ©JC Fredlund and JC Fredlund’s Artistry Blog, 1974 – 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to JC Fredlund and blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

If You’re Going to Vote, You Owe it to Yourself to See the Obama Movie, “2016”

If you wanted to find the very best deal you could on the very best car your money could buy, my hunch is that you would thoroughly research at least two different automobile makes. If you’re anything like me, you would even make sure to check with Consumer Reports on the off-chance that the manner in which the auto dealers represented their vehicles to you might not be entirely honest and above-board. Make sense? Yes, I thought that it might.
Well, this evening, I sat down with my husband and watched the movie, “2016”. Granted, I’ve been agreeing with my husband that for this presidential term, Romney would be, “the lesser of two evils”.
I have never been a staunch Democrat nor a staunch Republican. I totally supported JFK, and I also totally supported Gerald Ford. I supported the men and their belief systems. Let me explain what I mean and where I stand with “the lesser of two evils”. Truly, I think that it would benefit Mitt Romney greatly to “lose” the “slick” appearance and the almost endless “smirk” he wears across his face whenever he appears on television. As for Obama, I have never experienced a gut-level reaction of trust for him. For that very same reason, I did not vote for Bill Clinton. Low and behold, his trustworthiness, at least in what I consider to be his primary and most important role as a husband and father, his trustworthiness came into some very serious question. I consider this presidential situation to be, at best, a somewhat grim reality. But Romney and Obama are the only two presidential candidates we have to choose from.
For me, the most important part of all of this political chaos and throat-cutting techniques, is not so much what it is that I will end-up having to live with. It is what my children and my grandchildren will have to live with (and under). I have honestly felt that I owe it to them, to be as open-minded in thoroughly researching these two candidates who would BOTH have me believe that they would make the best possible president of our fine, capitalist, land of the free, country.
Tonight, while watching the movie “2016”, I learned a great deal about Obama. I really hadn’t ever researched him before at all, I’d only trusted my gut. In this movie, many lines from the autobiography Barrack Obama wrote titled, “Dreams from My Father” were read aloud by the man from India narrated the film. I was quite shocked and disturbed by what I heard.
I hadn’t known that Barrack’s mother had been Caucasian, that she and his father had met in a Russian classroom situation, and that at the time his father (who was admittedly Marxist) married her, he was already married to a woman in Kenya with whom he had young children. I hadn’t known that his father had married four times (without any divorces) and that he’d been totally abandoned by his father who’d gone back to his previous wife and married another new wife and so maintained only a relationship of letter-writing with Barrack. I’d had no idea that when Barrack’s mother remarried and his stepfather (who was pro-western) worked in the California Oil Fields, Barrack’s mother opposed her husband’s employment lecturing about her hatred of “The wealthy, white Texas Oil men”. I don’t think I would have believed that she hated them so much that she sent Barrack back to Hawaii to live with his grandparents and then divorced his stepfather; that then his grandparents selected a mentor for Barrack to spend the majority of his free time with, poet Frank Marshall Davis who started two communist publications that were blatantly Anti-American; in fact, that Marshall Davis was considered such a major threat by the FBI that he was listed on the Social Index in such a way that should there ever be a war with Russia Mr. Davis should be immediately arrested!
When the gentleman who is from India went to Cogalo, Kenya to interview Barrack’s grandmother, Barrack’s half-sister warned her not to give the interview; and he was then warned that they were no longer safe in Cogalo. Yet, Barrack’s half-sister describes their father completely differently than Barrack in that, her description is of an abusive alcoholic who beat his wives and who repeatedly burst into her room raging about how unfair the world had been to him.
Barrack’s younger half-brother stated in an interview that we should all take a look at South Africa and how well they are doing with the help they’ve gotten from America, yet look at Kenya “which is still a basket-case”; then concluded, “Should we really have gotten rid of Britain?” Barrack’s half-brother also talked about how Barrack states that he and his half-brother are like Cain and Abel, but has not tried to assist his half-brother who lives in abject poverty.
All in all, I came away from this movie wondering how Barrack Obama can title his autobiography, “Dreams from My Father” and lead the American people to believe that he wants what is best for America, when his father was openly anti-American, anti-Colonialism, and whose two primary goals roads to building a successful country were to:
1. Use power of state to control the country’s wealth; and
2. Charge very high taxes.
I no longer feel puzzled by this man who openly stated that he knows exactly how to appeal to Americans because all that Americans want is a young black man who is never angry. We Americans can be very trusting, and want to believe that those who are not of our heritage, do not hate us. After viewing this movie, I’m left feeling more disturbed by this presidential race than ever, and even less trusting of this man who declares that he will run America for a second term. So, I wonder, just who really IS this man who calls himself “Obama”?

Copyright 10/29/2012 by JC Fredlund (JC Eberhart, Past Pen Name): ©JC Fredlund and JC Fredlund’s Artistry Blog, 1974 – 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to JC Fredlund and blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


“My daughter-in-law recently posted a link on Facebook that caught my attention. More than a little curious, I double-clicked on the link, and was absolutely dumbfounded by what I found there. I then determined that it is just too important not to pass-on to others!” . . .

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